What to Do On Your Birthday: 20+ Ways to Celebrate as an Adult

This month is my birthday so it seems like the right time to share about what to do on your birthday as a grown-up.

One of the things my mom has said many times about being a mother is that you have to make your own sunshine.

Nobody else (certainly not your child) is going to applaud you for doing the laundry or keeping the mortgage paid or vacuuming out the car, and so your job is to make your life happy.

And there’s no time that this is more true than on your birthday once you’re a grown-up.

Probably no one is bringing cupcakes for the whole class or even really knows it’s happening.

If you want your birthday to feel special and fun, you’re most likely going to need to be the one who figures out what to do on your birthday so it gets celebrated the way you want it to.

What to do on your birthday – 20+ ideas

1. Have a lunch with friends. This is one of my favorite things to do for adult birthday celebrations. I had two groups of friends in Arizona that I did this with. With one, we had birthday lunches at one of our houses with everyone except the birthday girl bringing part of the meal (usually salad, bread, cake, and drinks). The other group always went out for lunch and we’d pick a new casual lunch place each time. This past year on my birthday, about six weeks after we’d moved, almost all of my friends from that group sent me a text telling me they wished we were going out to lunch to celebrate and it made me feel so great. 
2. Pick a birthday treat. I never get a pedicure but it’s one of my favorite things on earth, so every year, either on my birthday or the weekend just before or after, I leave all the girls home with Bart and head out for an hour or two and get my nails done (I also always use the birthday money I get from my grandparents for this – otherwise, it’s so easy as an adult for birthday money to just disappear into the vortex of groceries, water bills, or babysitters). If a pedicure isn’t for you, choose something that does feel like a special treat for you, whether that’s a massage or a hair cut or a solo movie (one of my favorite treats ever).
3. Decide on a birthday cake strategy. I love to bake, so it’s fun for me to choose a recipe without considering anyone else’s taste but my own and spend a little time alone in the kitchen making it. But if baking isn’t your thing, choose a fancy cake at a local bakery (or just at the grocery store!). Or choose a different special dessert if you don’t love cake. My birthday is just a few weeks after our wedding anniversary, and the first year we were married, Bart’s parents invited us over for a birthday dessert and when we arrived I discovered that my mother-in-law had asked Bart about my favorite cake flavors and when he’d told her that I’m not actually the world’s biggest cake fan but I AM the world’s biggest cookie fan, she’d make chocolate chip cookies with vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce instead. That was nearly 14 years ago, and I still get a little choked up about how nice that was.
4. Decorate for your birthday. Look, I’m not a Pinterest person when it comes to decorating. But a few balloons tied to the chandelier or a banner across the dining room or fresh flowers in the kitchen go a long way toward making it feel like a real celebration. And your birthday SHOULD feel like a celebration!
5. Do something for someone else. If you feel weird asking other people to celebrate your birthday, do something for someone else instead. Pick up a handful of fancy chocolate bars or copies of a favorite book or a small bouquet of flowers and take them around to some of your friends with a note telling them that the best way you can think of to celebrate your birthday is by celebrating the friends that make your life so rich. Or pay for coffee for 2 or 3 people behind you in line or donate books to your child’s school classroom or volunteer at the library or whatever will make you feel awesome on your special day.
6. Get outside. I loved the suggestion by one reader to visit a new state park each year for your birthday. But it can be as low key as a quiet walk around your neighborhood!
7. Hire a local artist to do a painting class for close friends. One reader said, “everyone paid their own way, and I provided fresh cookies and the artist taught us a fairly simple bouquet painting. I was worried people would cringe about paying their own way, but I heard over and over again about how it was the best party they had been to and they hoped I did it again the following year.”
8. Tea party and bouquet potluck. One reader said, “everyone brings a dozen flowers and makes a bouquet to take home.” This is such a fun idea!
9. Pick something you really enjoy doing that kids can also do (like pickleball, hiking). If you have kids at home, you may have to adapt your birthday celebrations to make sure they’re kid friendly. Picking something that’s fun for you AND them can be a bit tricky but makes for a fun day for everyone.
10. A bookstore crawl. Oh, you KNOW I love this idea! It’s a perfect way to visit a favorite bookstore or to hit up a new one!
11. Read a good book. You might read plenty, but really live it up for your birthday – grab a cozy blanket and a great drink or fun snack and set aside some time to really soak up your book!
12. Eat comfort kid foods. Poptarts? Cheetos? Mac and cheese? Tomato soup? Whatever your favorite foods were as a kid, this is the time to bring them all back!
13. Host a cocktail/mocktail masquerade. If you love a good party with costumes, this is a fun and fancy way to do it!
14. Have a lunch date with your partner. Bart and I do this almost every year for Valentine’s Day and going out to eat in the middle of the day feels so luxurious. Bonus points that lunch is often less busy AND less expensive!
15. Something fun and silly with friends (i.e. adult spelling bee)
16. Getting more expensive food than you normally would. If you generally don’t order a fun drink or get an appetizer or order dessert, this is your moment. Or if you’re eating at home, pick up a fun beverage or a fancy cheese or something else you normally would skip because of the price tag.
17. Have some alone time. I love alone time (and I REALLY love being home alone). Hire a babysitter, have your partner take the kids, or swap with a friend so you can enjoy your birthday alone!
18. Take the day off work. If you work full-time and your birthday falls on a weekday, it’s a perfect day to use your PTO and feel like you can celebrate all day long!
19. Get out on the water. Lots of people recommended going to the beach or paddleboarding or floating a river. Those are all such fun ways to celebrate a birthday!
20. Go out to eat for all three meals. This is a fun one – even if you’re staying home, eating out for all three meals feels like you’re on vacation!
21. See a play at a theatre. I love live theater – if it’s your birthday, it’s the perfect time to splurge for a treat or snack during intermission too!
22. Do something adventurous. This is a popular one –  go cliff jumping, skydiving, or paragliding! (I don’t think I’m adventurous enough for this!).
23. Host a fiesta where everyone brings a different type of salsa. We actually just did this for a friend’s birthday earlier this year and it was delightful!
24. Get the Barbie cake you always wanted. This one made me laugh – if you never got the Barbie cake of your dreams while you were a child, now is the moment to make that dream come true!
25. Go on a trip. I’m all for this plan! It can be a big international trip or a quick staycation but a little time away is a great way to celebrate a birthday.
26. Host a Favorite Things party with friends. A favorite things party doesn’t have to wait until the holidays – a birthday is a perfect time to do it plus EVERYONE goes home with gifts! If you’re new to favorite things parties, I have a post about them here.

I’d love to hear how you celebrate your own birthday – do you go big or do you pretend it’s not your birthday or something in between?

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Photos by Heather Mildenstein